How can Elim churches be really good news among those with dementia?
More people than ever are living with dementia but the church can be a light to sufferers, writes Meghan Earle
INTRO by Mark Greenwood, Director of Elim Evangelism
It was the week before I was due to speak at a church and the minister called me. “Hey Mark”, he said, as I answered the phone, “I just wanted to let you know that Bob is now suffering with severe dementia and so don’t be surprised if he doesn’t recognise you when you come to speak.” I thanked him for letting me know.
Bob was my small group leader and had retired to the coast with his wife. He was a real grandfather in the faith to me. I used to admire how in open prayer times in church he would stand, almost weekly, and recite large parts from the Scriptures.
I arrived at the church and Bob and his wife came in ‒ she had got him ready in his usual Sunday best. I went to say hello and as much as the minister had tried to prepare me, I wasn’t ready for my first experience of someone I knew with dementia. I went into the toilet and wept. What happened in the service blew me away. In the open prayer time, Bob stood up and recited a lengthy passage from the Bible ‒ I wept again and learned that though the grass withers and flowers fall, God’s Word shall remain ‒ and Bob knew it.
Here’s the bad news: more people than ever are living with dementia. In fact, there are now over 900,000 people living with dementia in the UK; 42,000 of those are under the age of 65.
And while there have been advances in research, medication and early diagnosis, we are far from a medical cure.
To continue the bad news, in many areas of the UK the dementia support is lacking. The diagnosis process can be long and stressful, with very little support given afterwards. Many local authorities and services are struggling to support the social need, and this can take its toll on the individual as well as their family. Of course, this includes members of our congregations. I believe every church in the UK is affected by dementia, either directly or indirectly.
If someone’s memory, perception, communication skills or behaviour start to deteriorate, and we don’t understand what is happening, this can lead to isolation, depression, and sadly withdrawal from the church and community. I’ve seen many cases of ‘chronic unawareness’ – where people say, “We just didn’t know how to support them.” This is bad news!
But the Word of God says: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever,” (Psalm 73:26).
We know our bodies and minds may fail us, but our spirit remains strong, even throughout the journey of dementia. I’ve had the most incredible privilege of working with people with advanced dementia who may not be able to communicate verbally, and may even become shadowed by a label of ‘aggressive’ or ‘challenging’, but they continue to pray, worship and be used by God to encourage those around them.
With better awareness and understanding, the church has a wonderful opportunity to be a light to those affected by dementia, supporting them to live as well as possible in their faith, and standing with the friends, families and local community who support them. This, surely, is really good news!
How does Dementia affect a person?
The main areas affected include:
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memory loss
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thinking speed
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mental sharpness and quickness
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language, such as using words incorrectly, or having trouble speaking
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difficulties doing daily activities
Top tips to help people suffering from dementia
1. Offer patience and reassurance
Take your time and focus on emotions rather than logic or facts. It may not be what someone says, but how they’re saying it!
2. Break it down
Instead of lengthy conversations or multiple questions, break it down into simple steps; one thing at a time.
Avoid saying “You remember, don’t you?” If someone can’t remember something, move on. They may or may not remember later, but they’ll certainly remember how you made them feel. Instead of saying, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” or “You’ve told me that story already!”, listen and try and find the meaning of what’s being said. Recent memory is often trickier to hold on to than long-term memory.
3. Routine and familiarity
A lot of change can be overwhelming, whereas familiar faces, places and routine can be reassuring.
For more information, advice and support is available at alzheimers.org.uk
Meghan is a passionate dementia specialist and coach for Able Training, a national specialised training company focused on improving people’s lives.
As a Christian and Elim member, Meghan has developed a specific dementia awareness course for the church, combining her knowledge and expertise with a faith-based perspective. Her mission is to create positive change for individuals in the church community through knowledge and better understanding.
If you would like to find out more about booking a course with Meghan, contact her at meghan@able-training.co.uk.
This article first appeared in Direction Magazine. For further details, please click here.