A ‘grand’ part of God’s plan!

Often invisible but vitally important, grandparents have a massive role to play in their grandkid’s lives and faith – even if it’s from a distance, writes Olly Goldenberg

Grandparents are a genius design of God. Invested and interested in their grandkids, they have time to take them off their harried parents’ hands. Parents get a few hours off, children get time with grandparents who love them, grandparents get family time and space to recharge when they’ve handed the children back.

Grandparents have a huge role to play in bringing up grandchildren and nurturing their faith. But the reality is they are often virtually invisible – devoting themselves behind the scenes with little mention or practical support.

So let’s take some time to look at the main challenges they face and how these might be navigated.

A firm anchor
One big difficulty for grandparents is our rapidly shifting culture. The world children are growing up in now is very different from that which their grandparents knew.

Theirs is a world where they ask Alexa to do tasks, where Google knows the answer to everything, where marriage has been redefined and an aggressively secular worldview is being actively taught in school. This generation is growing up exposed to things and facing pressures which their grandparents never encountered.

That can leave grandparents feeling isolated; wondering if they have a voice today. The answer is a resounding yes! Grandparents’ voices are needed more than ever because they are in a position to lead children back to the truth of the gospel and to be an anchor in their world. Without them it will be so much easier for this younger generation to go off the rails. We need to fight any separation between generations and be intentional about bringing them together.

War and peace
A second challenge for Christian grandparents is when their own children don’t share their faith. Some families may be strongly atheistic, resulting in a clash of values and beliefs, so much so that grandparents don’t dare mention God.

This can mean a difficult choice: stay quiet about faith to keep the peace or be resolute and speak out? In more extreme cases, would speaking out risk a relationship breakdown? Should they hide what they believe to stay involved in their grandchildren’s lives at all?

I believe the best option is to keep quiet and serve the family as best as possible. That path can take a great deal of humility – especially if you disagree with how a grandchild is being brought up or relationships are strained. Yet it’s worth it because Christian grandparents have an essential role to play in even the most resistant of families. If a grandparent is unable to share their faith openly they can still introduce children to it by demonstrating how it’s a key part of their lives; by leaving a Bible open on a coffee table, mentioning church on Sunday, saying grace before meals, inviting kids to attend a nativity at Christmas. Grandparents can gently introduce the idea of faith by letting grandkids see their life overflowing with the things of God.

Don’t forget the power of a praying grandparent, too. You hear so many testimonies from adults who’ve come to faith later after being raised in non-Christian homes. So many times they say, “My grandmother always prayed and went to church.” God gives us spiritual authority over family members, which makes these prayers even more effective in changing the course of a grandchild’s life.

Going the distance
A third difficulty for some grandparents is physical separation – through distance or relationship breakdown. I know one grandparent who just came back from spending seven weeks in Australia with a grandchild. They had a lovely time inviting the child to their Airbnb for sleepovers. Coming home was tough.

Here again, there is much grandparents can do to keep a bond going and invest in a relationship from a distance. During the pandemic we all learned the value of video calls, but old-school things like letters containing stickers or books build excitement and love. Again, it’s that principle of grandparents’ spiritual authority – which is still very possible long-distance.

But what about when there’s zero contact? The same principle still applies. I heard of one grandparent who was totally cut off from their grandchild. Each day, they wrote a thought or prayer down for them so that one day, if they did re-establish contact, they could show how much they loved them, even if there was no access.

Whatever the situation, my advice to grandparents is to understand that a key part of your calling in this season is to pass your faith on to your grandchildren in whatever way possible.

A listening ear, a genuine interest in a grandchildren’s world and a prayer-filled attitude can serve to create memories, sow seeds and build faith that will last beyond your lifetime.

Olly Goldenberg is founder of Children Can and director of the Hand in Hand children and family ministry conference

This article first appeared in Direction Magazine. For further details, please click here.

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